


A Year of April

by poeticfish



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe, Amnesia, Children, Depressed Dean, Depression, Destiel - Freeform, Drunk Dean, Drunken Kissing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff, Fluff, Friendship, M/M, Mechanic Dean, Roommates, Tattooed Castiel, Well - Freeform, and also japanese pottery, cas wants a tattoo, not yet, sabriel maybe, there's also a kitten involved
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-08 05:09:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3196511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poeticfish/pseuds/poeticfish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Okay, but seriously," Gabriel continued, "We're getting off-topic, here. The point of this is that-"</p><p>"Dean is miserable and hopelessly in love with Castiel?" April guessed. </p><p>Gabriel smirked. "Exactly." </p><p>...</p><p>Dean didn't mean anything by it, he really didn't. He was only kissing Castiel to prove something, seriously. Don't listen to Gabriel. Dean is not, in fact, "about as straight as a rainbow Slinky." </p><p>That kiss was all Dean and Cas could think about until April first, also known as the day it all began. That was the day they, although they may not have fully realized it, got themselves in WAY OVER THEIR HEADS because they could NOT take care of a child. And Castiel wasn't especially happy about the fact that said child had the same name as his crazy ex-girlfriend who stabbed him with a fork.</p><p>Sam, Dean, Castiel, and Gabriel's lives have gone to shit, and a girl who can't remember anything is determined to fix that.</p><p>This is a story of love, friendship, family, letting yourself be happy, and, for some reason, Japanese pottery.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've wanted to write this story for a while, and I figured it was about time I wrote something new, so here we go. It doesn't get very good until the next few chapters (although already there's some Destiel in here ;D ) but I hope you enjoy~

Dean was drinking and flirting with some random girl. Gabriel was drinking and yelling at the football game with a few other random guys. Sam was sitting at the bar with Castiel, and neither of them even touched a beer. So everything was basically normal.

Castiel sighed. He could get a drink if he wanted to- it wasn't like it was with Sam, where he was going to be the one responsible for driving everyone home. He just didn't want to. He knew Dean was getting drunk for the usual reason- drowning out any emotion he felt. That was probably why he was always so eager to go to the bar every Friday night. And as for Gabriel, he just liked beer. Castiel knew Dean would be drunk when they returned to their shared apartment, and he wasn't looking forward to that. Normally he really didn't mind having Dean as a roommate- in fact, he actually enjoyed it. The only part he didn't like was that Dean got drunk an average of three times a week, and that was never fun to deal with. But he'd put up with three times a week happily if one of those three times wasn't the night that he got dragged to the bar with Dean and their brothers.

"You look miserable," Sam commented.

"I am," Castiel replied simply.

Sam laughed a little. "You could get a drink."

"I don't want to."

"Well, I mean, usually drinking makes bars more fun."

Castiel shook his head.

Sam thought for a second. "You know, Cas, you haven't really gone out with anyone since the incident with you-know-who. You could try talking to a girl."

Castiel wouldn't even consider that. Not after what happened with his last girlfriend. "Nope. I don't want to. And you can't say anything about it unless _you_ start talking to girls again."

"I'm not ready for that and you know it."

"...I know."

Castiel looked down at his hands. He wasn't expecting Sam to be ready for that for a while after what happened to his girlfriend, and he realized that he probably shouldn't have said anything.

"Okay, well, this night got depressing," Sam said with a sigh. "I'm just about ready to leave."

Castiel decided to suggest their usual plan. "You get your brother and I'll get mine?"

Sam nodded. "Yep."

Sam went off to get Dean, a struggle that Cas was glad he didn't have to go through. Gabriel was easy. Dean was probably going to want to go home with whatever girl he'd been talking to, but Sam didn't let him do that anymore after coming to the realization that his brother was pretty mentally unstable. The fact that Dean didn't go home with strangers anymore made Castiel kind of happy for some strange reason that he didn't dedicate much time to thinking about.

"Gabriel," Castiel said as we walked up to his brother and tapped him on the shoulder. "We're leaving."

"We are?"

Castiel nodded.

"Mmkay, well, c'mon. Let's go outside."

"Before Sam and Dean?"

"Yeah, I don't want to be in here if they get into a fight when Sam tells Dean we're leaving before ten o'clock."

So Gabriel and Castiel went outside to Gabriel's car (the one that he and Sam shared) and waited for the others to join them.

Castiel looked at his older brother. "Are you drunk?"

"You ask me that every time we come here."

"That's because I want to know and I can't tell with you."

"I'm not drunk. I'm, like, buzzed."

"Oh. Okay."'

"Dean, on the other hand, looks pretty drunk,"

Gabriel said, nodding towards Dean who was stumbling out of the bar with Sam.

"Wonderful."

On the ride home, Castiel and Dean sat in the back and neither of them said a word the whole time. It was always like that. It didn't take long for them to arrive at the apartment building that was home to all four of them. Sam and Gabriel went to their apartment on the first floor, while Castiel helped Dean up the stairs to their third-floor apartment.

"Come on, Dean. Just a few more stairs," Castiel said encouragingly.

Dean was completely leaning on him. "Can't do it, Cas. Dizzy. This is not the fun kind of drunk."

"You'll be fine."

"No. 'M so tired."

"Look, we're done with the stairs. The apartment is right there. Just gotta get to it."

It wasn't easy, but they made it, and as soon as Castiel unlocked and opened the door, Dean went to the couch to sit down. Castiel flicked the light on and joined him.

"I hate everything," Dean complained. He had two moods when he was drunk: happy and disoriented or just plain sad. Right now, he was the second one.

"I know you do," Castiel said.

"I didn't even like that girl I was talking to, ya know."

Castiel looked at him. "Then why were you talking to her?"

"'Cause I thought maybe we'd at least make out or something. You know how long it's been since I even _kissed_  a girl, Cas?"

"No," Castiel replied. "I try not to get involved with that part of your life, Dean."

"Well, it's been a long time. I'm desperate. I'd make out with a guy at this point."

"Uh, excuse me?"

"Okay, no. But-"

Castiel almost laughed. Dean Winchester kissing another guy? Yeah, that was realistic. "Dean, you'd never kiss a guy."

"I wouldn't prefer to, but if it was my only option-"

This time, Castiel _did_ laugh. "You would never."

Dean's face was red. "I would if I wanted to."

"I don't think you even could."

"Screw you, I could kiss anyone of any gender!"

"Mhm, I'm sure you could," Castiel responded sarcastically.

Dean hiccuped, reminding Castiel that he was incredibly drunk. "Excuse _you_ , but you- I could- I COULD KISS A GUY!"

Castiel laughed harder. "Okay, okay. You could kiss a guy."

"I could."

"Alright."

"You don't believe me."

"No, I don't."

Dean looked a little angry, now feeling like he had to prove himself. Drunk on enough alcohol to fuel quite a few rash decisions such as this one, he grabbed Castiel's shoulders.

A mix of shock, fear, and confusion struck Castiel in the heart. "What are you-"

Before he had a chance to finish the sentence, Dean squeezed his eyes shut and crashed his lips against his friend's and Castiel almost screamed. His cheeks felt like they were on fire. His eyes were wide. His chest felt strange. Dean tasted like alcohol.

Castiel had to be the one to pull away. "Th... That was... Unnecessary."

Dean swallowed hard, wiping his mouth his the back of his hand. He hiccuped again. "I'm sorry. I'm really drunk. But I proved you wrong."

His words were slurred. Castiel stared at him with eyes that remained extremely wide, wondering what he was supposed to say now.

Luckily, Dean spoke first. "Well, I'm gonna go to bed."

Castiel nodded slightly as Dean got up and left the room. A few seconds later, Castiel could hear him vomiting in the bathroom.

"DON'T WORRY. THAT'S FROM THE BEER, NOT YOU, PROMISE," Dean yelled.

Castiel put a hand over his eyes and lay down on the couch, not in the mood to deal with drunk Dean after that. He wasn't in the mood to deal with _anything_  at the moment, and didn't feel like he'd be ready to deal with anything for a long time.

Unfortunately, he'd have to deal with a lot pretty soon.    


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel woke up on the couch the next morning with somewhat of a headache when he sat up, even though he hadn't had a single drink the night before. Dean was in the bathroom, vomiting yet again. He stumbled into the living room and quite literally collapsed onto the couch next to his roommate.

"Hello, Dean," Castiel mumbled groggily, rubbing his eyes.

"Morning, Cas." Dean coughed a bit. "My head is killing me."

Castiel pressed his lips together. "Just a normal Saturday morning, then."

There was an awkward silence, neither of them quite sure what to say.

Finally, Castiel had the courage to speak up. "Are we just going to not talk about what you did last night?"

Dean looked at him. "That was the plan, Cas."

"I don't know if that's going to work for me."

"It's going to have to. We live together and I don't want things to be awkward."

"Alright. Fine. I know I'm not going to feel awkward about it."

"Good," Dean replied. "Because, I mean, I was drunk. It didn't even mean anything."

"Of course not."

There was silence again.

Dean sighed heavily. "I need coffee really bad."

"I'll go get some," Castiel offered.

Dean shook his head. "No, I need to drive really bad, too. I want to... clear my head. You want a coffee?"

"Um, yeah, sure. Just let me find my wallet."

"Nah, don't worry about it. I got it, Cas."

Before Castiel could protest, Dean grabbed his coat and left. He looked like Hell, just wearing a baggy Led Zeppelin tee shirt with a fair amount of rips and stains in it and old jeans with holes in them that were frayed around the ankles. He was slow going down the stairs and squinted when he stepped outside into the sunlight that seemed to be much brighter than usual. But once he got in the front seat of his Impala and started driving, putting an AC/DC tape in (and immediately turning the volume down because he forgot how loud he'd been listening to it on the way home from work the other day), he felt much better. He drove to a coffee place that was a little farther than the one they usually went to, just because he wanted to take a ride.

Everything was normal from the time he got out of the car to the time he left the place with a coffee in each hand, one made the way he liked it and the other the way Cas liked it. It was when he leaned over the driver's seat of the Impala to put the drinks in the cup holders that the normalcy started to fade away, because just as he was about to get in the car, he looked up and noticed something unusual.

In front of the coffee place there was a little girl, maybe ten or eleven years old if Dean was taking his best guess, with a huge backpack on. Her clothes were torn and her face looked kind of dirty. She was leaning against a wall, looking through a dirty envelope that seemed to be holding money. Dean was unsure of what to do. There wasn't really anybody around. She was obviously alone, and she looked like she'd been alone for a while. But Dean couldn't just go up to a little girl, could he? That would be weird.

When the girl sighed and sat down on the ground, Dean realized she probably ran way and that was something he could possibly help with, so he slammed the car door closed and walked up to her, crouching down a safe distance away.

Dean hesitated. "...Hi."

The girl looked up and raised an eyebrow. "Can I help you?"

Dean thought for a second. "Um... Are you alone?"

"Yeah."

That was it, she didn't say anything else.

"Well... Uh... Are you lost?" Dean questioned.

She shrugged. "I don't know. I mean, yeah. But I've got this backpack, so I'm assuming that initially I ran away or something."

Now incredibly confused, Dean tried to think of something else to ask her. "Okay... I'm not sure what that means, but, um... What's your name?"

"I don't know."

"What are you talking about? Of course you know. You gotta know your name. You can tell me, I'm just trying to help you."

"No, you don't understand. I seriously don't know. I don't remember anything."

Now Dean was even more confused. "What's... What's the first thing you remember, then?"

"Waking up on the side of the road with a major headache and achy bones. I had this backpack full of stuff and ten dollars in an envelope."

Dean pressed his lips together. "So... Like... Amnesia."

"I don't know. Possibly, I guess."

"Do you know where you are?"

"Kansas, right? I walked all night and went by a sign that said 'welcome to Kansas.'"

"So you didn't even start out in Kansas?!"

"I guess not. Excuse me, but I didn't come here to get yelled at by some random guy. I don't think."

Dean's mind was racing with a thousand different thoughts. "We have to find your parents. We have to... You need to come with me, I'll take you to the police station."

She shook her head. "Just 'cause I can't remember things doesn't mean I'm stupid. I'm not going with some guy I don't know just because he says he wants to help me."

"Then where are you going to go? Have you even eaten at all that you can remember? If you come with me, I'll get you food and help."

"And maybe you'll kill me, too."

Dean put his arms out. "Do I honestly look like a child murderer? Because that's not at all the look I've been going for. Is this why I can't get a girlfriend?"

She giggled a little. "Okay. Well. I guess you don't _look_ like you'd kill me. And I guess I am pretty hungry."

"Well, then, let's get going."

Dean had her sit in the front seat of the Impala and as he started driving, he realized something. "Ah, if I'm getting you food I gotta stop home and get my wallet. All I had with me was money for coffee."

The girl looked at him. "Are you going to kill me there?"

"No!" Dean exclaimed. "The plan was to get you something to eat and some help. Causing you physical harm is not part of the plan."

"That's good," she replied, pushing a strand of her dark brown hair out of her face. "Hey, what's the date?"

Dean thought. "Uh, April first. Do any dates or anything stand out in your mind?"

She sighed. "Nope."

When they got to the apartment building, Dean made the girl come inside with him out of fear that she'd get kidnapped or something. He was hoping Cas would be in his room so he wouldn't have to explain what was going on- he could just grab his wallet and leave- so when he opened the door, he wasn't thrilled to see Castiel sitting on the couch and watching TV.

"Uh, hey, Cas," Dean said.

Castiel looked at him and immediately noticed that he wasn't alone. "Um... Dean, who is that?"

Dean shifted uncomfortably. "Uh, remember when you brought Tiger home after you found her outside Walmart?"

Castiel nodded slowly, not sure where this was going.

"Okay, well, you see," Dean continued, "I guess this is kind of, like, payback."

As if on cue, the orange and brown-striped, green-eyed kitten that Dean didn't have the heart to make Cas get rid of pranced into the room and hopped up onto Castiel's lap.

"First of all, don't even try to lie- you love Tiger," Castiel said. "Second of all, did you kidnap a child just to get back at me?"

"No, I-"

Suddenly, Castiel's look of confusion vanished. "Oh, I see. You're trying to trick me. April Fool's, right?"

"No, Cas. We actually have a situation here."

The girl tilted her head to the side. "Your cat's name is Tiger?"

Dean looked at her and nodded. "Yeah."

"So you named your cat after a larger type of cat?"

Castiel still couldn't get past the fact that there was a random child in his living room. "Excuse me, what's your name?"

"I don't know."

"Please, Dean," Castiel said. "Just say April Fool's so we can end this."

"Ending this is the goal, Cas," Dean replied, a little annoyed. "Unfortunately, me saying April Fool's isn't going to help us accomplish that."


	3. Chapter 3

Once Dean caught Castiel up on what was actually happening, he went in the kitchen to get something for the girl to eat while Castiel called the police. It wasn't long before the two friends were sitting on the couch answering questions for a police officer as a doctor checked the girl to figure out why she couldn't remember anything.

"You shouldn't have taken her anywhere," the cop informed Dean.

Dean glared at him. "I'm sorry, I wasn't prepared to deal with finding a lost child with amnesia on my morning coffee run."

Once the police officer left them alone, Dean looked at Castiel. "What are they going to do with her?"

"I don't know," Castiel answered. "Probably just take her somewhere until they find her parents or whoever she ran away from."

"Where will they take her, do you think?"

"A foster home, maybe?" Castiel guessed. "I don't really know. They'll find someone to take care of her."

Dean was quiet. "Maybe we could do it."

"Dean. We can't take care of a child."

"Why not?" Dean demanded.

"Okay, well, where do I start? I just lost my job, you're drunk half the time and quite honestly a little emotionally unstable- don't look at me like that- and our lives really suck if you haven't noticed."

"Well, that's a little pessimistic, which is not a healthy way to think," Dean informed him. "I let you keep the cat you found, so you should do this for me."

"A cat is not equal to an eleven-year-old human being."

"You should still do this for me."

"Why?!"

"Because you love me?"

"I'm not the one who gets drunk and makes out with my roommate." Dean glared daggers at him, and he sunk down in his seat a little. "Too soon?"

"Twenty years from now will still be too soon, Cas."

Castiel sighed. "Sorry. But anyway, even if we were both up for this, the police aren't going to leave her with us."

Dean looked annoyed. "Well, they should."

"Dean... Why do you want to do this so bad?"

Before Dean could answer, the doctor came up to them.

"I found a bump on her head," she told them. It's the only thing I found wrong with her that could have caused amnesia."

"That happens in real life?" Dean said. "Huh. It's like a movie."

He got up, leaving Castiel with the doctor and walked over the the police officer who was talking to the girl. "Excuse me."

The cop turned to him. "Yes?"

"I was just wondering where you'll be taking her."

"Don't worry, we're going to find a safe place for her to stay until we can locate and contact her legal guardians."

Dean pressed his lips together and nodded. "Yes, that's a responsible decision. But, you know, _this_ is a safe place."

"Um, sir..."

"What do you need to do? Background checks?" Dean asked. "Look, I found her, and it's important to me that I know she's okay. I mean, you could send her to a foster home or whatever, but come on, why can you trust those random people more than us? We'll do the paperwork and you can background check all you want, neither of us have ever done anything legally wrong."

"Sir-"

"We're not going to do anything wrong, and you know where we live anyway. You know exactly where she is."

The police officer crossed his arms over his chest. "Hold on, okay?"

Dean looked hopeful. "Hold on... meaning you're going to see what you can do?"

He smirked. "Yes, I'm going to see what I can do."

That police officer walked away to talk to the other two police officers, and the girl looked up at Dean. "I might be staying with you?"

"That's what I'm hoping," Dean answered. "I don't want you to go with some random strangers."

She looked skeptical, but didn't say anything. It wasn't long before the police officer came back over to them and handed Dean a sheet of paper.

"Fill this out and she can stay," he said. He then bent down so he was only as tall as the girl and handed her a cheap little flip phone. "We're going to check on you, but if anything bad happens when we're not around, use this to call 911, okay? "

She nodded, and he walked away once again. Dean was kneeling down on the floor in front of the coffee table, filling out the paper with the pen he had in the pocket of his jeans. Castiel was having an awkward conversation with the doctor, who seemed to be flirting with him, so he had no idea what was going on. Dean was thankful for that, because if Cas didn't know what was happening, he couldn't stop him from doing the paperwork. It asked simple things, like any phone number that could be used to reach any of them, where he worked, and other things like that.

Once Dean was finished, he handed the paper back to the police officer, who thanked him and told him that they'd be checking in, just in case something were to happen. They'd already taken pictures of the girl and done everything they needed to do, so that seemed to be the end of it. Everyone started leaving.

"I have to go," Dean heard the doctor say to Castiel. "But, um, here's my number... You can call me if you want."

She left with the policemen, and Castiel stood up, relieved that that was over. But it didn't take him long to notice that something was not right.

"Dean," he began. "Why didn't they take the child with them?"

Dean shifted. "Oh, well, they wanted us to take care of her. Hey, that doctor girl was cute. You gonna call her?"

"Don't switch the subject, Dean. You know if we had more money I'd gladly-"

"Cas," Dean interrupted, looking at him with tired eyes. "Remember what you said about how our lives suck?"

"Yes..."

Dean continued to look at him, hoping that after their years of friendship, Castiel would just understand. And he did. He understood that Dean completely agreed with him that their lives _completely_ sucked, and he understood that if Dean was able to help this girl, then maybe he'd feel less like shit. Besides, it was only going to be for maybe a week, so what was the harm in taking care of her?

Suddenly, the idea didn't seem so bad to Cas. For the week that they took care of her, Dean wasn't going to be able to get drunk. The police would be checking in and if he was drunk, she'd be taken away, and Dean wouldn't let himself go through that. Besides the fact that they weren't going to have any extra money for a little while at all, there really was no downside to this.

How much could this even really change things?


	4. Chapter 4

"So," Castiel began. "I'm not sure what we're supposed to do now."

The girl shifted uncomfortably. "I wish I knew my name."

Dean thought for a second. "Well, we could call you April. Because, you know... It's April."

"Creative," Castiel commented. "But no, we can't call her that. That was the name of my ex-girlfriend... Remember?"

"Ah, right, the one who stabbed you with a fork," Dean recalled. "You know, man, you gotta forget about her. Maybe this'll help."

"I fail to see how a constant reminder of her will help me forget her."

"Okay, well, not necessarily forget, but... Get over. Replace the bad thing with a good thing," Dean explained with a shrug.

"Okay, then. My name's April," the girl decided, sighing and leaning back against the wall. Her oversized backpack was at her feet. "And I'll help you get over your girlfriend and stuff but for now can I use your shower?"

The roommates simultaneously nodded and showed her where the bathroom was, then collapsed next to each other on the couch.

"I don't see why you got to name her," Castiel muttered.

"Hey, I just suggested it," Dean replied. "In the end, the kid named herself."

"She's going to need clothes," Castiel said. "Even if she's just staying for a few days, I doubt a child running away would pack more than one or two outfits."

"Yeah," Dean agreed. "We'll have to go through that backpack with her later, but there doesn't seem to be much in it."

"We've got to buy some food, too. We barely have enough for ourselves. I mean, we order take-out most nights and that's not healthy for a little girl..."

"Cas. Don't worry. She's gonna be okay," Dean assured him. "We're gonna make sure of that."

There was a knock on the door, to which Dean replied with a very loud, "It's open!"

Sam and Gabriel opened the door and entered the small apartment as if it was their own.

"Hey, did you hear anything about all the police that were leaving the building?" Sam questioned. "Gabe asked the mailman about it but he just said we were being nosey."

"I prefer _curious_ ," Gabriel said.

"Psh, why would we know anything about it?" Castiel replied nervously.

Sam and Gabriel were silent for a couple of seconds before asking in perfect unison, "What did Dean do?"

Gabriel then noticed the shower running. "Is... Is someone in the shower?"

Dean pressed his lips together and put an arm around a suddenly confused Cas's shoulders. "I guess now is as good a time as any to tell you. This morning, we became parents."

Sam gave him a weird look. "Dean, last night you were so drunk that on our way out of the bar you yelled at the news reporter on the TV for having hair that was too blonde."

Castiel pushed Dean's arm away. "He found a lost little girl. She couldn't remember anything and so he brought her here, we called the police, and got permission to keep her here until they figure out what happened."

"What a strange April Fool's Day joke," Gabriel said. "Is there even anyone in the shower?"

"Yes, there is," Castiel replied. "It's not a trick."

"Okay, whatever," Gabriel replied. "You don't have to admit it, but I don't believe you. Come on, Sam, let's go."

"You go ahead," Sam said slowly. "I'll be right there."

Gabriel shrugged and left, and Sam narrowed his eyes as he looked at Dean and Cas. "I don't know if I believe you, but I don't understand what you get out of a joke like this."

"It's not a joke," Dean insisted. "We're taking care of a kid and we're probably screwed but, you know, whatever. I couldn't let them take her God-knows-where, Sammy. She couldn't even remember her own name."

"I guess it's possible seeing as you're... Well... You. But you're really not tricking me, right? Because Dean, I'll give you some money and help out, but I swear to God if this is a-"

"It's not a trick," Castiel interrupted. He suddenly became aware of Dean's shoulder just about touching his own and shifted somewhat uncomfortably. "I... Um, I forgot to tell my brother something."

He rushed out of the apartment before either of the Winchesters could say anything, and caught Gabriel going down the second flight of stairs.

"Gabriel," he said, his voice cracking. He hadn't even realized it but for some reason, he was on the verge of tears.

His older brother turned around and his eyebrows shot up when he saw Castiel. He was initially going to tease him about what he believed to be the failed joke, but then he noticed that there was something wrong. "Uh-oh. My little bro's feeling emotional today, isn't he?" Castiel just nodded, and Gabriel sighed sympathetically. He knew Cas wasn't doing very well lately. "Follow me. We'll have one of our famous incredibly deep conversations."

That got a bit of a laugh out of Castiel, and they both went outside to sit on the building's front steps.

"So," Gabriel began. "What's going on in the life of Castiel Novak?"

Cas ran his fingers through his messy hair. "Something happened last night after Dean and I got home."

"And what might that be?"

Castiel was silent for a couple seconds. "Everything I'm about to tell you has to stay between us."

"Of course."

"You promise?"

"Always, Cas."

"Last night," Castiel began nervously, "when Dean was drunk... He kissed me. He kissed me and... I don't even know... Now he wants to take care of this kid which is probably because he feels like a failure with everything else, or maybe he's got these unresolved issues- God knows how many possibilities there are with that theory, and he's always drinking and-"

"Wait," Gabriel interrupted. "Dean... Kissed you? Okay. April Fools. Right? Say right, Cas. There was no kiss. There's no kid. April Fools. Right?!"

Castiel wiped his now watery eyes with his sleeve. "No!"

He was upset. That was obvious.

This wasn't a joke.

"Okay," Gabriel said calmly. "Your best friend kissed you. You're upset about this."

"Yes," Castiel said. "I'm really upset. Because... Gabriel... I didn't exactly dislike it."

Gabriel swallowed hard. "You... Liked it?" He got no response. "I don't understand. Are you telling me you're gay or something?"

"No!" Castiel exclaimed. "I've never liked a guy. Not once. It was just... I don't know why I'm even telling you any of this!"

"Because if you don't tell someone, you'll probably go crazy," Gabriel said with a shrug. "Cas, it's okay. Finish your sentence. It was just what?"

"I don't even know," Castiel whimpered. "I guess I did maybe... you know... Kind of like it. It was just... _Dean_."


	5. Chapter 5

"You're acting weird. There's more going on here, isn't there?"

Dean looked up at Sam. It always felt so strange that he was so much taller than him, seeing as Dean would always continue to think of him as the little brother he had to protect.

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked.

"I'm talking about the fact that you're acting kind of weird. I think there's more going on here than you taking care of a kid," Sam replied.

Dean sighed heavily. "It's nothing, Sam."

"It's not nothing," Sam argued.

"I can tell when you're lying about this sort of thing, you know. What happened? You were fine last night, so what could have happened from the time we got home until now?"

"Nothing happened, Sammy."

"Something with Cas?"

"Stop it!"

"You got into a fight or something?"

"I'm not talking to you," Dean decided.

Sam looked confused. "Your face is all red. I was right, wasn't I? You got into a fight?"

"Cas and I didn't get into a fight. Seriously, it's-"

"Okay, you're not lying about that part, I don't think. So what could it possibly have been?" Sam paused. "God, Dean, I don't think I've ever seen you get this red before."

"Get out. Go away. Go home. You're not wanted here."

"Please tell me," Sam begged. "Come on, if you didn't get into a fight, it can't be that bad. It's not like you frickin'... you know... did the do."

Dean could feel his face get hotter if that was possible, and Sam's eyes widened.

"YOU DID THE DO WITH HIM?!"

"No!" Dean yelled. "I wouldn't do the... do the _do_ with _Cas_!"

"Then what was it?" Sam looked thoughtful. "Cas told you he's gay? You told him you're gay?"

"We're not gay!" Dean exclaimed. "And would you just-"

"He kissed you?"

"YOU NEED TO FUCK OFF RIGHT NOW SAM I SWEAR TO GOD-"

"He did!" Sam concluded. "No... Wait... YOU KISSED HIM! YOU WERE DRUNK AND YOU KISSED YOUR BEST FRIEND!"

"SHUT UP!" Dean yelled. "That's it, get out. We're done here."

Sam's expression slowly switched from amused to concerned. "It's bothering you, isn't it? I mean, I can imagine it's probably pretty awkward, but this is really bothering you, isn't it?"

Dean gave him the dirtiest look he could manage. "This has nothing to do with you."

Sam sighed. "I guess I shouldn't have expected you to actually talk to me about anything."

He shrugged and went to leave.

"Sam, wait."

It was too late, though- either Sam didn't hear Dean or he just didn't care. He left, closing the door behind him, and Dean was left alone, standing in the middle of the living room. Castiel wasn't at his side like he usually was, Sam was gone, and Gabriel wasn't there either. That part shouldn't have mattered since he and Gabriel were never very close, but still, Dean did want somebody there at the moment. Suddenly, the sound of the water running in the shower stopped, and Dean realized that he wasn't actually completely alone. He also had a lot ahead of him.

~

"Gabe!"

Gabriel stopped, just as he was about to open the door to his and Sam's apartment. Castiel had already started to go back upstairs after making sure it wasn't obvious that he'd been crying a bit. Gabriel turned around to see that Sam was the one who'd called his name.

"What did Cas tell you?" Sam asked urgently.

"It's kinda personal, Sam." Gabriel opened the door and Sam followed him inside.

"Okay, I can understand that," Sam said. "But this is important. Just tell me if it has to do with Dean."

Gabriel hesitated. "Well... Yeah, it does. But I promised I wouldn't say anything to anyone, and I'm not going to break that promise."

"I knew it," Sam said. "I knew something happened. Gabe, Dean's acting really weird. I think I might have figured out what happened. If I say and you confirm or deny it, that doesn't break the promise, does it?"

"Well... I don't-"

"You made the promise because you want the best for your brother, and I want the best for mine," Sam interrupted. "Dean lies to me when there's something wrong and for the first time ever I could actually find out what happened and maybe even figure out if I can help him."

"I don't think this is something you can help with."

"Why? What was it? Did Dean kiss him?"

Gabriel was silent for a couple seconds. "Yeah. But I swear to God if you ever tell anyone that I told you that, I will destroy everything you love."

"I'm not going to tell," Sam promised."But holy shit."

Gabriel realized how badly he did want to tell someone about all of this. "Yeah, I know. And now that I've completely betrayed my brother I guess it wouldn't hurt to tell you the other part, too."

"Okay, well, I can't say I'm not curious..."

"Cas told me he... didn't dislike it."

Sam's eyes widened. "What?! Is Cas..."

"He's not gay. He would've told me. He's always had girlfriends. I don't know. But I think he might like Dean, and I've actually kind of maybe thought that for a while and God it feels good to tell somebody this."

"If that's true, I feel kind of bad for him," Sam said. "I mean, it won't happen. Dean was just drunk. He's straight."

"Actually," Gabriel replied, "I've been thinking about that, too. And I have come to the conclusion that Dean Winchester is about as straight as the rainbow Slinky you got him for his birthday."

Sam almost laughed. "You sure you're thinking of my brother? Because if he was anything but straight, I'd be very surprised."

Gabriel pressed his lips together and it became apparent to Sam that he was holding himself back from saying something.

"What?" Sam prompted. "I know that look. What are you thinking?"

"Something I probably shouldn't say."

"Say it."

"Okay, fine," Gabriel decided. "All I'm saying is that I'm pretty sure your dad did not raise you in a way that would make Dean think being _anything but straight_ was acceptable. I've heard your stories about your dad and how he was with you guys."

"Dean's fine with people being gay."

"Yeah, other people."

"Okay, I'm done with this conversation," Sam declared and as soon as he was done speaking, someone knocked on the door.

Gabriel was the one to open it and when he did, Dean and Castiel were standing there with a young girl, much to their brothers' surprise.

"Can we borrow twenty bucks?" Dean asked emotionlessly. "We gotta get her some stuff."


	6. Chapter 6

"My God," Gabriel said quietly. "They kidnapped a child just to make the joke more believable."

Sam rolled his eyes. "I don't think it was a joke, Gabe."

"It wasn't," Castiel said. "We need to buy food and probably clothes, and if you could help us out, that would be great."

"Yeah, sure," Sam replied, taking out whatever money was in his pocket.

He handed Dean twenty dollars while Gabriel handed Castiel ten dollars from his wallet.

"Have fun with that," Gabriel said before sitting down on the couch.

Dean and Cas thanked them and left. They decided the best place to go would be the huge store Castiel used to work at before getting laid off about a week ago. They had everything they needed to buy, and the prices weren't ridiculous, which was definitely important since they were pretty broke.

"I can get food if you want to get some clothes," Castiel offered, and Dean agreed.

"Okay," Dean said to himself under his breath as he led April to the clothes department. "I'm picking out clothes for an eleven year old girl. This can't possibly go wrong." He stopped to look around and realized that there was a much larger selection than he was expecting. "Um, alright, what do you like?"

April looked up at him. "I'm supposed to pick?"

"You're the one who's going to have to wear this stuff."

"I don't want to pick anything. This feels weird."

"Why does it feel weird?"

"Because I don't even know you and now you're buying me clothes!" April exclaimed.

"You know me," Dean argued. "In fact, I'm the first person you can remember knowing."

"But you're all poor and stuff. I don't want you to spend your money on me."

"That doesn't matter," Dean told her. "Look, you're only going to be staying with us for a few days, maybe a week at the most, and you've already got the clothes you're wearing. All you need to do is get a few tee shirts and a couple pairs of jeans. Oh, and probably socks... and underwear, I guess..."

"See? This is weird."

Dean shook his head. "Nope. Not weird. We all wear underwear, April, gosh."

April giggled a little, which made Dean smile. "I have an idea. I'll hold something up, and you tell me if you like it or not. Okay?"

She nodded. "That doesn't sound too torturous."

Dean grabbed whatever was closest to him and held it up- a pink and purple striped long sleeved tee shirt.

"God, no," April said.

"Understandable," Dean replied, putting the shirt back and grabbing another one. This one was just a yellow tee shirt. "How about this?"

"This isn't gonna work if all you hold up is ugly shirts."

Dean looked at it. "Yeah, I guess the color is kind of bad. How about... This one?" He held up a plain blue tee shirt.

"Nope," April said.

"What's wrong with this one?" Dean demanded. "It's literally just a blue shirt. It'll match your eyes."

"Yeah, but look at the shade of blue. It's too bright."

Dean grabbed the same shirt in a darker shade of blue. "Okay, then how about this?"

"Yeah, I guess that's not bad."

"Alright, see, now we're getting somewhere."

They continued with that for a while until April convinced Dean that this was enough. By then, Castiel has joined them with the basket of food he picked out. He pointed out that she should probably get some pajamas as well, and Dean was thankful that he wasn't doing this alone.

About an hour after they returned home, a police officer came to check and see how they were doing. He was pleased to see that they'd bought new clothes and Castiel was making something in the kitchen for dinner, and left after just a few minutes. Everything was strangely normal, kind of as if this had been the way things always were. Occasionally Dean would ask April if she remembered anything yet, but after she answered no to that question four times in a row, he figured she'd let them know if she was able to recall anything.

That night, Castiel set up a bed on the couch for April with whatever spare blankets and pillows he could find. April thanked both of the roommates before they left to go to bed. Dean only lasted ten minutes of lying in his bed, unable to even attempt to sleep, before he got up to check on April.

"Are you awake?" he asked softly.

She sat up. "Yeah. Why?"

Dean walked over to the middle of the living room, right next to the coffee table, and sat down on the floor in front of the couch. "I was thinking about what you said earlier about how you don't know me. And you're actually kind of right, you don't. You don't know Cas, either. So I thought I'd tell you about us."

"Okay," she replied, looking down at him curiously.

Dean took a deep breath, quickly trying to figure out what to say and where to start. "Okay, well, my full name is Dean Winchester. I have a little brother named Sam Winchester. He's the tall one. Cas's full name is Castiel Novak, and his older brother is Gabriel Novak. Gabriel's the short one. Sam and Gabe are pretty good friends and their height difference is so huge that it's comical."

"I noticed."

"Yeah. So anyway, um... My parents were John and Mary Winchester. My mom died when I was four. My dad died three years ago. I can tell you more about them some other time if you want- it would take up too much time. I don't really know much about Cas's parents except that his dad left as soon as Gabe was born."

"That's sad," April commented. "Yeah, but you know, whatever," Dean replied quickly. "Um, let's see... What else... Uh, Sam and I have an uncle. He's not our real uncle- just our dad's old friend- but he's actually the closest thing I've ever had to a father. More so than my real one, I think. His name's Bobby Singer. Um... I'm a mechanic. Cas just got laid off from his job. I'm twenty nine, Cas is twenty eight, and we've been friends since elementary school. I dropped out of high school, he didn't. He decided against going to college and we got an apartment here. Um... Sam did go to college, and he was a freshman when Gabe was a sophomore- they only knew each other 'cause me and Cas were always such good friends. Sam dropped out when our dad died and Gabe dropped out with him. Sam had a girlfriend who died in a drunk driving accident shortly after that. Sam and Gabe work at stores at a mall. And... Uh... I can't think of anything else. Is there anything you want to know?"

"Uh, I don't know. What about your girlfriends? Do you and Cas have any?"

Dean swallowed hard. "That's complicated. There are a couple interesting stories there, but, um, you know, now's not a good time for those." He got up. "Well, goodnight."

"Goodnight," April said as Dean left the room.

She sat there in the dark, wondering why Dean got weird when she asked her question. And then she decided she had a couple of questions for Sam and Gabriel.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "No, no," Sam answered, annoyed. "Gabe lives in a fantasy world where Dean and Cas are secretly in love."

The next day went by slowly. It was a Sunday, so nothing exciting was going on, and there were only two things that made it different from every other Sunday in Dean and Cas's small apartment.

The first thing was the fact that April was there. She was sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table eating cereal while Dean was lying on the couch. Castiel had just gotten dressed and was now using Sam's borrowed laptop to look for jobs online.

The second thing wasn't who _was_ there, but who _wasn't_ there. Normally Sam and Gabriel were joining them in watching whatever was on TV or eating whatever food was in the house since they only worked on weekdays, but today, they had chosen to stay in their own apartment for some reason. Secretly, Castiel and Dean both had a good idea of the reason for this- they knew about the kiss and they didn't want to be part of an awkward situation.

Suddenly, Dean's phone rang, and he groaned before answering it. "Hello? Yeah... Mhm... Seriously? Okay, yeah. I know, I know, I got it. Bye."

"Who was that?" Castiel questioned.

"Work," Dean answered grumpily, sitting up. "I have to go in for an hour."

"But I have an interview in twenty minutes, I need the car. And we can't leave April alone. Do you have to?"

"Yes, Cas, we need the money!" Dean exclaimed. "And we'll have her go downstairs with Gabe and Sam, it's fine. Alright?"

"What about the car?"

"Fucking borrow theirs!"

He went into his room to change, leaving Castiel alone with April. He was a little taken aback; Dean didn't usually snap like that.

"Is he okay?" April asked.

Castiel nodded. "Yeah, I apologize for that. Dean... Has been having a hard time lately. Will you be okay going with our brothers today? If you're not comfortable I can cancel the interview, but you'd be fine there."

"It's okay, I don't mind," April responded, smiling a little. This actually worked out nicely.

Dean left without another word to either of them, just muttering something to himself that sounded like, "Not my fuckin' fault someone needs their car fixed." Cas ignored it, and since he was already ready for his interview, he took April down to Sam and Gabriel's apartment and knocked on the door. Gabriel was the one to answer.

"Sup, Cas?"

"Um, I was wondering if you and Sam could watch April for a little while. I have an interview and Dean had to go to work."

"Oh, sure, no problem."

"And also could I maybe borrow your car?" Castiel asked awkwardly, hoping he wasn't going to have to take the bus.

"Yeah, we don't need it. Here." He took his keys out of his pocket, took one off the key ring, and tossed it to Cas. "See you later, then."

"Thank you so much," Castiel said gratefully.

He said goodbye to April and left.

"Come on in," Gabriel said to the little girl who wasn't even that much shorter than him. He turned around and yelled, "SAM! WE'RE BABYSITTING!"

Sam came out of his room, confused for a few seconds before he saw April. "Oh, hi."

Gabriel looked at her, closing the door after she stepped inside the apartment. "So, they're calling you April, hm?"

She nodded.

"Fitting," Sam commented. "I mean, since everyone thought you were an April Fool's Day joke. But wasn't that the name of Castiel's crazy ex-girlfriend who stabbed him with a fork?"

"It was," Gabriel confirmed. "Still a nice name, though, I guess. Although if I ever find that girl, I'm punching her in the throat."

"We're in the presence of a child, Gabe," Sam said.

"That changes nothing, I'll still punch her in throat..."

"I had a question that would be too weird to ask Dean or Cas," April spoke up.

"Okay, sure," Sam responded, looking at her.

She didn't hold back. "Is Dean gay or something?"

The two friends were silent for a few seconds until Gabriel started laughing hysterically.

"HA! I TOLD YOU!" he said, trying to catch his breath. "I knew it wasn't just me who saw it! Straight as the rainbow Slinky!"

April tilted her head to the side. "So he is?"

"No, no," Sam answered, annoyed. "Gabe lives in a fantasy world where Dean and Cas are secretly in love."

"Yeah, fantasy world," Gabriel echoed. "Mhm, sure. Let's not forget that your brother kissed my brother, Kiddo."

"HE WAS DRUNK."

April's eyes widened. "They kissed?!"

"Shit, I keep telling people," Gabriel muttered.

"They did," Sam told her. "Dean was drunk and trying to prove he could kiss a guy. Or, at least, that's what Cas told Gabe. And you know what, if anyone's anything but straight here, it's definitely Cas!"

"How is it Cas?" April questioned.

Sam smirked. "'Cause he liked it."

"Dear God, we sound like fourteen year old girls," Gabriel said. "But you know what? At least I don't deny that my brother is probably gay. I'm totally cool with it."

"Hey, Dean could be the gayest person alive and I'd be fine with it," Sam said defensively. "I don't care about that stuff. But he's not."

"Dean seems like a very unhappy person," April commented.

"Doesn't he?" Gabriel agreed. "It's a Winchester thing. They're all miserable little shits."

"Excuse me!" Sam exclaimed. "Have you _met_ yourself at eight o'clock in the morning? Definition of miserable right there. And Cas has been kinda sad sometimes lately. It's a Novak thing, too, Gabe."

"Hey, I didn't mean it as an insult," Gabriel replied, putting his hands up in defense. "I just meant it as in, like, your lives have sucked kind of worse than ours."

"Can you watch your language around the kid?" Sam said, gesturing to April.

" _Suck_ is not a bad word, Sam," Gabriel informed his friend. "On the list of swear words, _suck_ is, like, all the way at the bottom, if it's even on there."

"I don't think there's a list of swear words," April said, amused by Gabriel.

"Oh, there is," Gabriel assured her. "But _suck_ … Yeah, see, they'd just be wastin' space if they had that on there. The list is reserved for words like _fuck, shit, bitch-_ "

"GABE!" Sam interrupted. "The language!"

Gabriel pretended to gasp and be upset with himself. "Ooh, shit, I really gotta watch my fucking language!"

April laughed, and Sam just rolled his eyes.

"Okay, but seriously," Gabriel continued, "We're getting off-topic, here. The point of this is that-"

"Dean is miserable and hopelessly in love with Castiel?" April guessed.

Gabriel smirked. "Exactly."

"He's not, though!" Sam insisted. "Look, I totally get the part about him being miserable. But Dean likes girls. Dean's _always_ liked girls."

"I'm going to go back to my original argument," Gabriel decided. April was listening to the whole conversation closely, incredibly interested in all of this for some reason. "In my opinion, my _correct_ opinion, John Winchester was not the type of guy to spend much time making sure his sons knew that they shouldn't be ashamed to be themselves and all that crap. Dean wanted his dad's approval more than anything. I'm pretty sure telling him he liked dudes would not have been the way to do that, and I'm pretty sure Dean knew that."

Sam looked thoughtful. "What, so Dean convinced himself he was straight when he really wasn't?"

"Exactly," Gabriel confirmed.

Sam sighed loudly. "Somehow, I don't see this whole thing as being something we're going to just move on from."

Gabriel reached up and put a hand on Sam's shoulder, too short to actually put his arm around him. "Lemme ask you something, Kiddo. You want your big brother to be happy?"

"Obviously," Sam replied.

"Good," Gabriel responded. "Because I have an idea."


End file.
